Cat Call
by GoWashTheLights
Summary: Maldonado decides a little community service is going to be good for her dear John Kennex. Dorian agrees, and eventually John starts warming up to the idea, too. That is, until they arrive upon their first assignment. Oneshot.


**Author Note:** Yerp, I've returned for more.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Almost Human, its characters, etc.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Volunteer jobs?"

Sandra shrugged and handed John his "assignment". She sat back down, preparing to continue with her work, but John hadn't moved. She looked up at him. "It's what I have for you today, and that's the end of it."

He wasn't satisfied. "Come on, Sandra, I'd hardly call this voluntary." He tapped lightly at the paper. "Since when are we doing this?"

"Since I said so. It's just a little something we wanted to try this month, once a week, and it'll do you some good. All you do do anymore is come to work, then go home, and spend the rest of your time with a drink in your hand. It'll be nice for your partner as well; he needs the social interaction."

John nearly rolled his eyes. Dorian needed this as much as he needed food and water, but it seemed there was no point in arguing. "All right, I'll do it, but only because you asked so nicely."

Sandra raised an eyebrow, and a smile played at her lips. "Good. Now go on, the addresses are on the sheet - the tenants have already been informed of your arrival."

Dorian was waiting for John at his desk. He noticed the irritation on his partner's face and smiled. "What are we doing today?"

"Running errands." He handed the DRN the sheet as they walked.

"Interesting. I've never had the chance to go out and serve the people like this."

"You already serve the people - it's called police work." Once outside, John unlocked the door to his car and slid into the driver's seat. He sat still for a moment, then he looked at Dorian and pointed a finger at him. "Will you do me just one favor today?"

Dorian looked back, seeming mildly surprised. "Sure, man."

"Just...don't drive me crazy today. I'm already going to therapy classes because Maldonado told me to. I'm also doing _this _because she told me to, and I've about had it. So, please, will you be normal?"

Dorian smiled, and nodded after a moment. "Of course, John. I'll do it, but...only because you asked so _nicely._"

On the way to the first home, John did his best to convince himself that it was going to be a good experience. Perhaps doing something for someone without being paid to would be all right. _Okay, no, it's not all right, _John thought, _but I know they'll appreciate it. _His classes were teaching him that helping others helped him, so he had to be willing to try. If he didn't, Sandra would know and probably inform his therapist. He definitely didn't want that.

They drove through an older neighborhood, and finally to the house they needed. John looked at the file once more. "Let's see. We have Eleanor Jensen, she's eighty two years old and lives alone. Great, she'll probably give us stale candy for our trouble." He stepped out of the car, and winced as he looked at the exterior. Tall, dying grass sat in the front, even taller in the back beyond a chain-linked fence. Who even had those anymore? The house itself was pink, a shade used only when his grandparents had been alive. It was chipped and faded, and John figured they'd probably be doing maintenance here. There was a broken window on the second, floor, too.

"Are you ready, John?" Dorian asked. He'd behaved himself the entire way over; this day probably wouldn't be so bad.

"Yeah, let's go."

They marched up onto the old, cracked sidewalk, and John knocked solidly on the door. He took another deep breath to convince himself...and caught something. It was a familiar scent, stagnant and immediately uncomfortable. Before he could pinpoint it, the answer scurried out between his feet as the front door opened.

"Oh, Daisie, get back here!"

_Oh, no. This isn't happening. _John fought the urge to cough as the odor hit him, emanating directly from inside. A grey little cat had run off, and there was no guessing there were more of them. Eleanor looked up at them politely, but questioningly. "I'm sorry, can I help you?" She asked.

"Y-Yes, afternoon, ma'am," John stuttered. "Are you Eleanor Jensen?"

"I am."

"I'm Detective John Kennex, and this is Dorian, my partner. We're here to offer your our services today, for whatever it might be."

She smiled brightly. "Oh, yes, come in! Someone called and told me you'd be by, so I hurried to clean up a little."

"Excuse me, Eleanor?" Dorian asked, looking behind him. "Is your cat all right to wander the yard?"

She waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, yes, she does that all the time. I was just hoping she'd stay so I can keep an eye on her while you're here."

As the three of them walked in, John gave Dorian a sharp look; the DRN only shrugged with a helpless smile. The interior was relatively well-maintained, with carpet lining on the wooden steps, and antique pictures on the wall. Eleanor led them into the living room, and to John's dismay, three more cats were on the prowl. One, a little white kitten, padded right up to Dorian and brushed against his leg. The DRN smiled and picked it up, and it seemed minuscule in his hands. "What's your name?" He asked it.

"That's Missie," Eleanor replied. She pointed to the other grey one and continued the introductions. "This is Beau, and that furry lump on the sofa," she motioned to the fluffy, back cat, "is Smoky. He's a little grouchy, so leave him be."

_That shouldn't be a problem, _John thought. He covered his mouth with his hand, just in time to give an uncontrolled sneeze. Then another. He groaned quietly and shook his head. "Pardon me. Well, Eleanor, what can we do for you? I noticed that window upstairs is done for; must be cold at night?"

"Oh, yes, it is. You see, this house is so old, and I haven't ever renovated. Now that I'm older, I can't do yard work - or any other work - and the kids probably think the house is abandoned. I never go out other than doing the shopping, long before any of them have woken up for the day." She gave a sweet smile, and a touch of sympathy hit John. This old lady relied on herself, without anyone able-bodied around to take care of things."

"So, we'll do the window," Dorian interjected. He was smiling, still looking at the kitten, and had it close to his face. Their noses were practically touching, and he seemed intrigued by the creature. "Do you have something to cut the grass with? I can start on that, if you'd like."

"That's fine, just fine, but...I'm worried it won't work! It's been so long since I've used it, and I don't even know if there's gas in it."

Dorian set the kitten on the carpet, admired it a second longer, then said, "Well, lead the way. I'm sure I can figure it out."

In the backyard, Eleanor waited by the door as John and Dorian trailed over to the tool shed. As the DRN unlocked the door with the provided key, John heaved through another sneeze. "Will you be all right? Would you prefer I contact -"

John waved a hand, using the other to rub the tip of his nose. "I'll be fine."

Dorian opened the door, and located the old lawn mower easily. It was near the front, a little dusty, but usable. It had enough fuel in it for the work to be done, and the tools that John needed were on the shelf above it. Dorian stepped in, handed John the items, and moved to pull the lawnmower out. As he did, he listened to his partner's wheezy breaths, and the cough that came moments later. From what the DRN could detect, his vitals were fine for the time being. Him working inside, with the cats, could worsen his symptoms. "Do you want to be out here? The fresh air is going to be better for you."

John seemed to consider it. Then he looked at the house, and finally shrugged. "It doesn't matter. We only have two hours assigned to each person, so it'll be fine."

Dorian set the mower next to the grass. "Fine, then. At least ask her for an allergy pill."

"Okay, Mom."

* * *

"Do I have purr-mission to say, I told you so?"

John looked up at Dorian, grudgingly taking the water bottle from his hands. "You're real funny, pal," he wheezed. He twisted the cap, took a grateful swig, and poured a decent amount into his hand. Then he splashed it into his red, swollen eyes and groaned. "Do volunteer work, she said. It'll be fun, she said." His throat felt like it had fur lining. Looking up at Dorian, he realized that the DRN was up to something with the blue lighting along his face. "What are you doing?"

"I'm letting Captain Maldonado we'll need someone to stand in for the other two addresses."

"What? Dorian, no - we're not just..." He trailed off, blinking furiously. For what seemed like the millionth time in two hours, he sneezed and sneezed until he coughed. His chest ached, and breathing wasn't the easiest thing in the world about now. His hand absent-mindedly moved up to scratch his neck; a rash was forming there, thanks to the sickeningly adorable little Missie. The kitten hadn't left him be as he worked on the window, running over his hands and under his arms when she got the chance. He hadn't dared pick her up - less contact, the better - but it was no use. Since Eleanor obviously wasn't allergic to her pets, she hadn't any pills to ease the discomfort.

Dorian looked down at him. "John, you should get some rest. I have a 'feline' you'll recover more quickly if you go home now." The DRN had the nerve to be smiling right now, and cracking terrible jokes, just to make things worse. John was obviously too tired out to argue, and he pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

"Hey, Sandra," he began, then nodded in annoyance. "I know, I know. I don't have a good excuse, really. What? No, it's fine, don't - no, it's not your fault. Yeah, I suppose so; thank you, bye." John hung up, and stood up from the park bench he'd been sitting on. The air here was definitely better for him, and it helped. His boss had grudgingly let him have the rest of the day off, but he had to drop off his dear partner beforehand.

"Would you like me to drive?" Dorian asked innocently, but John knew that tone. He hadn't exactly been bothersome today, but he could get away with just about anything around John. "You're not exactly up to paw, right now."

As they walked over to the car, John threw him a disdainful look. "What's wrong with you? Why all the puns - to torture me? I'm suffering enough as it is."

Dorian, again with innocence, frowned at him. "I'm not sure what you mean, John. Perhaps there's a malfunction in my vocal output."

"Yeah, I'll show you a malfunction," John muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Dorian asked in amusement, looking over.

In the same tone, John replied, "Oh, nothing at all, Dorian. Nothing at _all._"

The drive home was a quiet one, at least for conversation. John still huffed and groaned the entire way to the station, constantly wiping at his runny eyes. He didn't even have a tissue to help him, only his already contaminated hands, and it was making it worse. He didn't say another word as he pulled up to the front, letting Dorian step out. The DRN didn't close the door right away, and John was half-tempted to just drive away with the car as it was. Then Dorian leaned back in. "You know, John, today wasn't a complete catastrophe."

"Oh, how do you figure?" John asked in mock curiosity, a rueful smile on his lips.

To his surprise, Dorian kept the expression serious. He shook his head and replied, "It really wasn't. Eleanor really appreciated our help; couldn't you tell?"

John was quiet for a minute. He could tell, but he didn't like getting caught up in the gratitude-fest. "Yeah, I know."

"I know that we made a difference in her day, and probably in her week, as well. The way things are these days, people doing things just for the sake of it is uncommon. I was happy that we were willing to do that for her - I felt a new connection, like nothing I've ever experienced."

John only nodded. "Yeah, I suppose serving others will do that to you. Still, I already feel that way, doing normal, life-risking work." He looked at Dorian again, this time with a more sober upturn. "Thanks for not driving me totally nuts."

"You're welcome. Get some sleep, you've earned it."

He couldn't disagree with that. When he arrived in the safety of his apartment not an hour later, he immediately showered. He got into his night clothes, put his synthetic on the charger, and plopped straight into bed, making the goal to rearrange his "volunteer arrangements" with Sandra Maldonado in the morning.

* * *

_Cute ending :) I love Dorian! So adorable. And who could resist teasing poor John more than him? Anyhow, hope you liked it, just a little whatever idea I had. I could have made it longer, but...I just wanted to get to the puns. _


End file.
